krishna76

Most People seem to have a hard time understanding why the passing of a man i have never met has me so inconsolable . I am not an author and so words fail to explain the sadness in my heart . As any one who has read any of my posts probably knows I have dyslexia . Rather bad Dyslexia. In school reading was a choir . it took hours to get through a what took everyone else a few minutes. I read a few short stories and loved poetry but anything longer than 20 or so pages was inconceivable . that was till I turned 19 it was 1995 and I discovered a book called Lords and ladies. For the first time I started to see pictures behind the words, real pictures in my mind like a movie. the movie was often interrupted by my dyslexia b and d as well as i and l would still switch places. I still was reading the same sentence 6 or 7 times in a row because of tracking problems . but the struggle felt worth it. next i read mort I have always been a goth at heart so what could be more enjoyable than a book revolving around death. It was on the Discworld that I learned to read. My dyslexia bowed to Pratchett's wit and satire. now i am a voracious reader of many books by a variety of authors. but none so dear to me as Pratchett . I even found out that i like history enuff to go to university and get a degree in it . Something i would never have done if not for Sir Terry

But the most important thing terry pratchett did for me is save my life. Sadly it is something i will never be able to thank him for . back in lynchburg around 2007  I hit rock bottom. I was having a nervous breakdown. I have never been emotionally strong and cince 2005 my life had come undone.  I was trying to drive everyone away. My reasoning was if no one liked me no one would be hurt by my death  because I felt so utterly hopeless . I wanted the pain of existence to end . However I found one thing to hold on to . One thing that made me want to make it through one more day of misery. Ironically it was a gift from someone whose lose had been the proverbial straw . It was wintersmith . I had read all Sir Terry's books up till that one and it felt wrong to leave the world without finishing this one as well. I could not kill myself till I knew how Tifany defeated the wintersmith. I would read a few pages as I drifted into sleep then I got up and walked through one more day in hell. When finished the book i realized sir Terry had more books to write and if i died i would not know how they ended i would not have met Moist von Lipwig, Adora Belle Dearheart  or seen the Miss Felicity Beedle, show vimes the beauty inside goblins or an ork play kick the can and prove nothing is born a monster. I had all those unwritten stories to look forward to too give me something to look forward to and thusly a reason to keep living . Now He is gone . There is only one more discworld story waiting to be published.  I have known for several years Sit Terry had been diagnosed with an obscure form of rear brain Alzheimer and  was dying but it did not soften this blow . I just wish i could have thanked him for not only teaching me to love reading but also for giving me a reason to live one day at a time no matter how badly my soul ached. No persons death has affected me more than Pratchetts has and i do not think words could ever convey the hollow that has been left in my heart . I just wish i had the chance to thank him for all that he has done for me.  i also selfishly  worry if i find my self where i was emotionally  in 2007 with out Terry  what reason will i be able to find  to not die?
GNUTerryPratchett